Alone
by ice cream parlour
Summary: you're never truly alone. sometimes you realize that by yourself, most of the time someone will help you see it. all in due time.


search: define alone

a·lone

/əˈlōn/

adjective & adverb

having no one else present; on one's own.

Having no one else present; on one's own.

Amalthea stared at the screen, her purple eyes blank and doleful. She knew what the word meant, but putting its meaning in words was more difficult than she had realized. Now, she had a solid definition, an answer for herself when she needed to be reminded what it truly meant. And she was––alone.

With a sudden disinterest, she closed the browser and shut her laptop. The sound of its click no longer satisfied her, and she scuffled out of the chair she sat in, not bothering to push it back properly.

Amalthea slowly stalked over to her window, nestling herself against the cold panes, staring out into what she could see of the ocean for the next few hours.

* * *

"Coffee," Schmendrick announced, holding carry out trays of Mommy Fortuna's.

"Ah, Seumas, you've outdone yourself," Lir says, gratefully grasping the cup offered to him, "again."

"Well if I do say so myself, I've truly begun to memorize everybody's usuals" he flashes an easy smile, handing Molly her own cup.

"Don't encourage him Lir," Molly scoffs, tucking a strand of curly brown hair behind her ear. "Not until he remembers I like mine with four spoons of sugar. It's not nearly sweet enough!"

"Oh, I'm sorry it's not sweet enough Molly. Maybe you'd like to try and get everyone's coffee the way they want it." Schmendrick shrugged, putting the rest of the coffee down for everyone to collect on their own time.

Molly rolled her eyes, spinning in her desk chair. "You aren't actually required to do that. You buy coffee, a few donuts, you come back and you work. But since you've decided to be nice about it and cater to everyone's tastes, you should do it correctly at the very least."

"Alright, alright," Schmendrick holds his hands up in defeat, hoping to quell her anger, "next time I'll buy you one of those muffins you really like. Don't be mad at me, Molly."

She looks up at him while sipping out of her coffee, not once breaking her gaze. "Okay," she smiles at him, and it is genuine before returning to her coffee. Molly extends a hand up towards him, and Schmendrick takes it, squeezing it gently. She chatters lightly about the desk work that had been forced upon her, and tells him that's why she's been coming home late recently. He only watches her, eyes etching every bit of her into his memory.

Lir says nothing, sipping his coffee and filling out what forms were left for the evening. He was proud of his job, from the crisp of his blue police officer uniform to the reports he neatly filed away.

Molly looked over to the blonde boy, grimacing at how much he bent over his desk and poured himself all over his paperwork. He was still young, but all of his youth was wasted on him. Schmendrick, having returned to his own desk, followed her line of gaze.

"Seumas, I worry for that boy," she tapped her fingers on the table, shaking her head with a look of dismay.

"Well what for?" Schmendrick bit out of a donut, content with the sugary treat.

"Because his life is centered around his work. He should be having fun, not working at a station. He's too young for that."

Schmendrick paused his chewing, deep in thought before swallowing, "well, we're not that much older either."

"But we are having fun! We've got each other, and we go places when we have the time," Molly hisses, "Lir's love life is non existent!"

"And," a voice joins in, "I can hear you." Lir scratches at the paper with his pen, not bothering to lift his head as he says so.

"Oh, sorry Lir," Schmendrick shrugs sheepishly and laughs, "I tried to stop Molly from talking."

She slaps him upside the head, scowling at him.

"Anyways Lir," Molly threatens to hit Schmendrick again, and he flinches, before she takes his hand and eagerly leans towards Lir's direction. "We have a couple of friends who wanted to go to this karaoke bar, and we were wondering if you wanted to come along? I think there's a really cute girl who'd be interested in you."

Lir smiles politely at the couple, thankful that they bothered to reach out to him. They were the some of the first people he met at this job, and they showed him the ropes. It was Molly and Seumas that he went to for his troubles. Work troubles, so he was surprised to find them discussing his much personal love life.

"No, I'm horrible at singing," Lir laughed, a hand flew up to scratch the back of his head shyly.

"Oh come on!" Molly exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air ecstatically. "That's what everyone says, but I don't believe that for a second Lir. Just come!"

Lir sighed, glancing at the clock. It read 9:26 p.m, past his shift. He stood, the chair scraping the floor behind. "I've gotta go guys. Goodnight," Lir pulled on his jacket, heading for the timer to clock out.

Molly had to be restrained by Schmendrick to prevent her from forcing Lir to say he would go.

* * *

Amalthea used to smile so much more, but nowadays there was a feeling inside of her that she couldn't name. It was dark and heavy, and often time because of it all she wanted to do was lay in bed and do nothing. At the worst, she would cry, and sometimes wonder what the sharp edge of a knife would feel like.

Today was as bleak as the ones before it, and probably as bleak as the ones that would follow after.

She was not in bed, but instead, watching the ocean. It made it a little better, she felt like. The ocean didn't leave her feeling alone––but offered her solace from her thoughts. It was ways away from the shore, but she could see it. Could see the way the water churned against each other. Those waves were not single, short rolls of force and energy. No.

They were more than that. They came crashing down on each other, each one unlike the one before. The ocean was grand and huge, and alive. It was unanimous, yet individualistic at the same time. Each wave, and every particle and atom existed together. They belonged, which was what Amalthea wanted more than anything.

To belong, to know what existence within existences meant.

Amalthea leaned her head against the glass, the chill of it cooling her forehead.

Life happens, and it can easily be taken away at any single time. Amalthea knew this more than anyone else.

She was prone to fits of crying that wouldn't stop, filled with anxiety and triggered by the most random things. Amalthea gave a shuddery breath, eyes swollen red.

Nobody should live like this, Amalthea attempted to wipe away her tears.

* * *

Nobody should live like this, Lir thought irritably as he slapped handcuffs around the wrist of a drunk driver. The red haired man couldn't even stand.

With such a brawny build, the assailant would have successfully been able to knock Lir out with a single blow, and Lir was considered the most able amongst his coworkers. Thankfully, he'd been too drunk to have been able to tell his fist apart from Lir's face.

Two children were left injured and motherless in this accident, to which they would be handed over as wards of the state and entered into the foster care system. Lir knew the trials and failures of that system. He had been in it his whole life, transitioning from family to family.

There was nothing a lowly police officer like himself could do for them. Lir clenched his teeth, tightening the cuffs. The red haired man gave a growl of pain, and angrily tried to free himself.

"He's not a first time offender," Schmendrick opened the back seat door of the car for Lir, "apparently four years ago he was involved in another wreck. He killed four people out of a family of five. Pushed them right off into the ocean. The survivor was a girl, also put into the foster system."

Lir only slammed the door, smashing against the extra limbs sticking out of the doorway. The man groaned, and Lir walked away with a stuttering Schmendrick fretting over the situation.

"Leave it, Seumas," Lir said, burning with fury.

"We've got another call," Molly panted, running towards them from her car, "someone's spotted a suicide attempt."

Lir cursed, kicking at the ground. "You," he pointed at two other policeman, "take the damn drunkard back to the station. Go with him."

"Molly, Schmendrick, round everyone up and let's go," Lir sprinted towards his car, turning on the sirens that famously accompanied the red and blue lights.

"Dispatch, can you give me the location," Lir held the radio in one hand, his other gripped fiercely onto the steering wheel.

"Copy that officer," the scratchy voice registered in his ears, "location is 92nd and Sumner, the Mariposa apartment complex."

Lir slammed the radio onto its stand, zooming past cars in a desperate attempt to get to the location.

* * *

Amalthea choked back a sob, staring down at the outside ground from her window. Spectators had gathered now, shouting out pleads for her not to, but they did not deter her.

She knew eventually she would jump, but she wanted to take in the view she saw before her. The way the ocean looked from her window, paled in comparison to standing at its shore before it. But as it turned out, it would seem she would never need to see it again.

One last time, for the trip to hell, Amalthea smiled slightly. No god would welcome her abused, heavy dark soul so full of woes.

* * *

"What have we got?" Lir stepped out of the car, lights blazing and throwing themselves across buildings and faces.

"Up there," Schmendrick pointed towards a few floor down from the very top.

Lir felt his heart stop, and his mouth dry. A cold sweat broke across his forehead.

He had never met her before, but something felt familiar and irresistible. Almost like a call to realize one's destiny, a fated meeting that had been planned since long before. Lir's heart had seized the moment he saw her, and he knew that he needed to stop her from jumping before she was no longer.

"We need to get a team up there. I'll lead it," Lir managed to spit out after a moment, patting Schmendrick's shoulder.

"Wait, Lir," Schmendrick whirled around to find his form, "you've gotta be careful about this. You can't just enter from her room, or you might startle her and make her fall."

Lir stood still, Schmendrick's logic kicking in. Pleased that Lir had stopped to listen, he licked his lips and went on, "I think you should get an operation to head towards the roof, and lower someone down to negotiate with her. Even if she did decide to jump, there's a stronger chance you could catch her before she hits the ground. The team waiting with the blanket below isn't exactly a 100% guarantee, but if someone were next to her it would give us better odds."

"Thanks, Seumas," Lir flashed a grateful smile at his friend, squeezing his shoulder.

"Yeah, just make sure to mention me when you get an award or something," he called after Lir as the blonde ran towards a van.

"Molly, I need you," Lir shouted, motioning for three others to join him as he suited up and hauled gear from within the van out.

"Schmendrick I need you to be my eyes from the ground," he tossed a walkie talkie over to Schmendrick, who struggled to catch it before clasping it firmly between his hands.

"I can do that," Schmendrick nodded.

"Molly I need you to be in charge of the rope. I'm sure you've heard Schmendrick's plan."

"It's a brilliant one at that," she grinned at the lanky officer clutching at the communicator. He blushed and smiled sheepishly.

Lir licked his lips, "let's go," he motioned for the others to move out.

* * *

Her muscles tensed, her hands clasping firmly to the window pane she sat on. It gave her such a rush, each time she tipped herself closer to the concrete floor below.

She had half the mind to jump when she saw his face.

Amalthea held her breath when she found his eyes, dark blue and depthful. She could see her reflection in them.

"If you think you can persuade me not to, you're wasting your time," she bit out, smiling ruefully at him.

"I think I can, and it wouldn't be a waste of time at all."

Amalthea's smile fell, and she quickly turned from him as a new wave of tears sprang from her eyes.

"No!" She wailed, not bothering to wipe her frustration away. "You don't understand. How could you possibly understand anything!"

Lir edged closer to her, his feet suspended against the side of the building. He dangled by a mere rope, held securely by the team on the rooftop. He could see Molly leaning over, walkie talkie in hand.

Much to her and Schmendrick's frustration, Lir had cut communication with them.

"I probably couldn't, and I won't try to, unless you say so," his lips folded into a gentle smile, eyes softening at her. "My name is Lir, what's yours?"

She wrapped her arms around herself, hesitant at first, "Amalthea."

"Amalthea," he tested it out, nodding once with satisfaction. "It's a very beautiful name. I'm very pleased to meet you."

She said nothing, retreating further to the other side of the window pane.

Lir followed, slowly, so as not to raise her awareness. "Listen, Amalthea, I can't have you jumping from the window. I'm need you to take my hand so that we can get you to safety."

"I can't," Amalthea sobbed, shutting her eyes tightly, "I can't, I can't, I can't, I'm sorry."

"Why? Why can't you?" Lir coaxed, retreating his hand slightly.

"I–I," Amalthea stuttered, her purple eyes frantically dodging left and right, "because I'm alone."

Lir let his hand drop, the words hitting him more than they should have. They brought back an unpleasant and melancholic feeling that bubbled up inside him.

"I can't live like this anymore, because I'm alone. I've lost my family, and I can never get them back. They're gone forever––and I'm still here. Alone. It's been four years, and I still can't forget it. I can't live like this."

Amalthea's figure shook heavily with sobs, erupting from her body with such force. Lir grimaced, staring at her helplessly.

"You're not alone, Amalthea," Lir breathed. "You're never––truly––alone. There will always be someone, no matter what. All in due time."

"But I––" Amalthea stared into his eyes, "I am. No one will be there for me, no one ever will."

"I will," Lir stated, serious.

Amalthea's red and teary eyes widened, her pretty lips let slip a barely audible 'oh'. She swallowed and breathed before opening her mouth again, "You...will?"

Lir's lips cracked into a shy grin, taking in her very image at that moment. Unkempt white hair, face puffy and swollen from all her tears. "Yeah, I will."

A beat passed between them as she gathered her thoughts. "Can you–" she began, arms wrapped around her thin frame. "Can you sing for me?" Amalthea sniffled, exhaling a quiet chuckle.

She caught Lir by surprise, who only gaped her with shock. It was do or die, except he wasn't going to die. It was her, he assessed the situation before closing his mouth and breathing in.

Heavily out of key, shakily and out of tune, Lir sang the best he could the lyrics to The Temptation's My Girl, blushing madly at his predicament. He knew fully well just how horrible of a singer he was, and he loathed singing in public. Because he was suspended in air with nowhere and no way to run, he sang with all his heart for Amalthea.

Molly held her sides, unconsolable with laughter and Schmendrick cheered him on from the ground very loudly. The team laughed and whooped and spectators smiled, laughing quietly and even joining in with the song if they knew it.

None of this mattered to Lir, who was only looking at Amalthea, amazed by the smile that had emerged. She giggled from time to time, hanging onto every word he tried to sing for her.

Lir extended his hand out to her, still blushing like mad. His ears felt hot despite the chill of the night.

Amalthea looked down, biting her lip, seeming to contemplate her next move. But there was no hesitance when she placed her hand in his, looking into his eyes with certainty. She would go on.

Lir exhaled inwardly with relief, turning on his walkie talkie before moving over to tie the rescue strap onto Amalthea's slim figure. "Molly, we are clear to go," he spoke into the mic.

"So that's why you didn't want to go karaoke with us," Molly teased, laughing.

"Molly," Lir pressed, warning seeping into his tone.

"Copy, Lir. We're lowering you down," the click of the radio signing off confirmed by the sudden hitch of the rope.

Amalthea closed her eyes, exhausted, leaning into Lir's figure as they descended. Lir's heart still beat rapidly, whether is was from the adrenaline or Amalthea, he didn't know.

Scattered applause erupted from the crowd below as they finally reached the ground, and Lir lifted Amalthea into the stretcher that was rushed towards them. "I'm riding with her," he told the medics who only pushed him along into the ambulance.

Once they were inside, she reached for his hand and held it. Amalthea beamed at him, squeezing his hand tightly, "thank you."

Lir was quiet, stared at her with a gentleness, stroking the hair at the crown of her head with his free hand.

* * *

"They call him the Red Bull," Schmendrick pushed papers across the diner table towards Lir, "the accident he was involved in four years ago hit Amalthea and her family when they were returning from a day from the beach. Ran them straight into the water, but they could only rescue her. She was seventeen at the time it happened. He was charged with driving under the influence and manslaughter, but he only received a one year sentence if he had agreed to go to rehabilitation and probation. He's been on and off about it, and that resulted in the probation being extended. But with the recent wreck, I don't think it's gonna be good for him."

Lir bit his bottom lip, "small world."

"Must have been really tough for her," Molly said, her tone hushed. "How is she?"

"I plan to go see her actually," Lir brightened up, "she'll be discharged later today."

"You should bring her flowers, Lir," Molly advised, biting into her bacon. "Girls like that."

Schmendrick reached for a bacon slice from her plate, with success, but not without a slap on the hand. "Oh yeah, girls like that alright."

Lir laughed, feeling closer than ever to the couple in front of him. He'd never bothered to ask them for anything other than work related problems. When they reached out to him, he'd always hesitate to fully accept their good intentions. But because he did, he had gained friends he was grateful to have.

"Thanks, guys," he said. There wasn't a thing in the world he wouldn't do for them.

* * *

Amalthea sat up in the bed, staring out the window.

When Lir walked in he stopped and made sure he hadn't been heard. He held his breath at the sight of her, alive. So beautiful—he would make sure she knew her existence was never to be regarded as anything other than beautiful, precious, and needed. They were synonymous with her name.

Amalthea broke her concentration on whatever she had been transfixed with in favor of her visitor.

"Lir," a smile graced her lips as she greeted him.

Her smile spreads to her eyes, he takes notice, pleased.

"Hi," he drags a seat to the side of her bed, seating himself in it. He makes no move to touch her, save for when she instead grabs his hand to hold.

"I'm being released today," she sighs happily, her thumb rubbing across the back of his hand affectionately.

"I've heard as much," Lir replied, "life will return to normal for you."

"Not completely," she gazes down at their hands, before her eyes trail up to meet his own blazing blue ones. "Right?"

Lir's breath hitches, unsure of how to reply. She senses his hesitance, nodding her head before casting her line of sight downwards.

"Lir," she begins, "I lost a large part of myself when my family died. I mourned, but I couldn't move past it. I fell into a slump, and I sunk further into my own pity. Everything around me began to crumble apart, all my friends tried to reach towards me but I didn't let them help me. I lost them. I moved from foster family to foster family for two years. It didn't work. I survived off of whatever money my parents had left for me, but I have nothing to my name other than that.

"Even now, I'm having trouble shaking off my chains. But I'm getting better, and I will continue to get better. I won't rely on you, because I realize it was unfair of me to push that onto you. It scares me to no end thinking about what lies ahead for me, and it's frightening realizing I will have to do it alone. I only hope I'm strong enough for it. But I want to thank you, for stopping me from jumping. Because for the first time since it happened, I realized I'm not alone."

Amalthea nodded her head and smiled, despite her tears. "We're strangers, but I feel comforted knowing that you have this information. So thank you, Lir, truthfully."

Lir grinned, eventually ending up laughing. Amalthea was awash with surprise, a confused expression settled over her delicate features.

"Amalthea, don't thank me as if we'll never see each other again. I'm not going anywhere. I said I would be there for you, and I will."

Lir paused a moment, before correcting himself. "I am there for you."

Amalthea wept joyful tears, Lir wiped them away.

She had found later that her apartment was swamped with flowers that he had delivered for her.

* * *

woahhhh. it's finally finished. i saw this movie on netflix after years of just hearing about it. honestly, i love amalthea very much.  
she's very pretty. i had to eye roll at it a few times though because it's super cheesy. if i had seen it as a younger kid i would have totally  
gone for it though.

while writing this, i listened to a bunch of b2st, and had the image of dongwoon while writing lir's parts. it's a total shame i ended up writing more  
from his point of view instead of amalthea's (because that's what i was aiming for) but instead it ended up this way. totally regret nothing! also, become  
b2uties and go listen to some b2st for me. i recommend goodluck, or beautiful night.

as for amalthea, she was indeed depressed for the most part of this fic. i don't know what it's like to be depressed, i think. i used whatever i felt  
when i was sad, thinking about the world, my future, my life, how i felt when i thought i was alone in my own troubles. i don't really know if you're  
never truly alone, i only hope that you're not. it's okay to be sad guys. mourn, but don't forget to move forward either.


End file.
